No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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