the condom got lost in my hair
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
