oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
