At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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