I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
