You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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