I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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