New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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