MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
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