But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
