Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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