your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
