I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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