Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
