You can't special order awesome
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
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