she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
