I wannas sexs uuuuu
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
did i just pee glitter
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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