I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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