Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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