You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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