when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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