my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
