I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
third nipple confirmed
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
