I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He has the fingertips of a God
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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