god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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