"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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