She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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