This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
