I just cut my nipple shaving
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
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