He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Randomize
