So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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