My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
