Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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