every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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