Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
that's an acceptable place to lick
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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