did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
