So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
