First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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