I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
