there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
