I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
How does one acquire holy water?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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