but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
