The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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