I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize