I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
