By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
