there was a trapeze. enough said
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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