idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
