Betty ford says i'm here all night
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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