I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
So vagazzling was a success
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
