Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Randomize
