i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
